Jerry, you need to find god
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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