I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
