I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
