Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
