we're blogging at a bar
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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