Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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