please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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