Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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