tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
We just shotgunned beers for America
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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