I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Randomize
