Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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