roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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