Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize