The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize