If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
