yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize