If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
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