this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
