I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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