paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
