I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
