every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
