I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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