i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
