just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
