You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
nutella sex= disaster
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Randomize
