Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
