My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
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