if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
What a dumb baby whore.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
