Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
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