i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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