your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
