So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
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