dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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