her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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