Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
