Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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