Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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