I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
