bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
