ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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