Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
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no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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