I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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