i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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