carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
