Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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