dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
