dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
it's like heaven, but drunker
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
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