Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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