Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
