I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
