she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
All the doctor said was why
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
