Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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