I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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