Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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