Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
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