I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
