I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
