remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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